Growing a Heart of Worship

I keep forgetting I have a blog...
However, I was reminded of it when I thought to myself the other day "wow, I have learned so much through being on the worship team at church both about worship and also about myself and God and I wish I had a good place to express that." Oh yeah, hey by the way, I joined the worship team at church ^_^ It's been a hot minute since we've chatted...
I joined the worship team back in October of 2017. For years growing up, I had a small dream of one day being on a worship team somewhere, I simply knew I loved to sing, but I had stage fright and felt like I had possibly ruined my voice and wouldn't be good enough. Eventually I figured that being on a team was not in my future since I wasn't as good as I felt like I needed to be. After attending my current church for about 2 years I felt a tug at my heart:
"You're going to be on the worship team."
Well, alright, but certainly not anytime soon. Like, certainly not here. I'm just not ready. Maybe I should get vocal lessons, or perhaps vocal surgery... Cut to a few weeks later:
"No, like, you're going to be on the worship team. Here. Soon."
... What...
But I'm not ready! I'm not good enough! I'm too terrified to even ask about joining!  ... Who am I to disagree with God?
It just so happened that our worship team was about to undergo a major team adjustment as our worship leader at the time was getting ready to step down and follow God down another path He was leading him on and so I used that as a sign that now was the time to take a step of faith and talk to someone about joining. Turns out, it was much easier than I had been anticipating. So, great. I am on the team. That is one fear conquered. However, I have never sang on stage in such a vulnerable setting. What if my nerves get the best of me and I sound terrible? What if I sound really good and my ego starts to inflate? What if my voice just fails me? What is the right mindset to jump into such a scary situation for me that will be the most honouring to God? I decided to break it down.
What if I am nervous? Well, it's my first time doing anything like this, so there is nothing wrong with being nervous. That is totally fine! But if God decided that was where I needed to be, then I guess I will need to trust that He will work through me and that whatever happens will be for His glory. 
What if I do a really great job? How do I remain humble? Colossians 3:2 tells us to "set our minds on things above, not on earthly things." So, the night before, when I say my prayers before bed, and right before service, I will ask God to use me as a vessel for His glory. Then, if I do a good job, praise be to God! 
And if I make a mistake, or my voice falters, that's okay too. God isn't asking for a perfect performance. He is asking for my heart to be laid at His feet. He wants me to come in my brokenness and give in to His perfection. 
So, to start out my journey as part of a worship team, I had to start with reminding myself to have a mindset for God. I finally got to live the dream that I had been waiting for so many years to accomplish! I was so nervous.
And I had so much fun.
The learning and growing didn't stop there. It was helpful that I started out in large teams with more vocalists so that I could start to learn how to hear what others were doing and how to find my own part and fill in elsewhere. Also, this meant I certainly wouldn't be anywhere close to the center of attention, because the Lord knew I wouldn't be able to handle that right off the bat! He knew exactly what I could handle and exactly how to push me further out of my comfort zone at a pace that wouldn't be overwhelming so I could continue to grow rather than becoming stagnant in what I was doing. Every so often He throws something new at me: smaller team size, few vocalists, no stand to hide behind, leading on single verses, leading an entire song... Each new experience that was presented set off my anxiety a little bit, but each time I remembered to set my mind on God and embrace the challenge knowing I would come out stronger for it on the other side.  I have learned to be patient when I wish I could take on more by realising that God has me doing exactly what I should be and when He thinks I am ready, He will give me more.  I have learned humility and grace by accepting that I can only be as good as God allows me to be that just because I don't sound like someone else doesn't mean I'm no good whatsoever.  I have learned confidence in Christ by understanding that I am not up there to perform, but to lift my attention to Him and not be afraid to sway or raise my hands because I no longer care what the world may think of me for doing so.  Above all, the most important thing I feel I have learned is that worship is far more than just singing songs on a Sunday morning. Worship is a mindset. Worship is a lifestyle. When we choose to honour God in every aspect of our life throughout the week, we are engaging in acts of worship.
I have already learned so much and I know I still have much to learn. I am excited to continue this journey and see where God leads me and what He teaches me!